Please Don’t Feed the Children, You Might Kill a Child with Food Allergies

Last weekend our family attended our school’s annual Crab Feed, and yes we took our son with multiple food allergies with us.

Mitch has tested positive for 7 of the top 8 allergens and more, but his allergy tests for fish and shellfish have always been negative. We haven’t challenged shellfish with him yet for many reasons; he’s only two and shellfish, like peanuts, can have a severe reaction, or the timing hasn’t been right, or he has been sick or reacting to a different allergen when we have had the opportunities to trial him.

Please Don’t Feed the Children, You Might Kill a Child with Food Allergies

Even though Mitch has multiple food allergies we don’t want to exclude him from events, even events focused around food. He’s going to encounter these foods all throughout life and we want to teach him how to manage his food allergies in a variety of situations, not seclude him and give him a false sense of security.

Please Don’t Feed the Children, You Might Kill a Child with Food Allergies

The night of the crab feed, everything was going great. We had arranged for Mitch to have a special seat at the end of a table so his father and I could each sit on one side of him (to keep his quick little fingers off unsafe food) and we brought his favorite safe foods, including homemade allergen safe cookies he can now eat.

Then it happened.

A  woman at our table starts waving a cupcake in Mitch’s face and said ‘Look Mitch, I have a cupcake for you!’

(My first thought is really? Here? Everyone at school knows not to feed Mitch, even the children at school know. I’m not quiet about him having multiple food allergies because knowledge is power.

And hello!!!! Mommy is sitting right here. Why don’t you ask ME if I even want my child to eat a cupcake tonight?)

We calmly tell her no thank you. He’s ok.

She said ‘It just a cupcake’ with a look on her face like we were torturing our son by not letting him enjoy the finer things of life.

I said ‘Yeah, um, that will kill him. He has food allergies.’

(At this point, I figured she would be done. Sadly, she wasn’t.)

She bypasses me and said to Mitch ‘What? Do you want it?’

Mitch’s just glared at her. I’m pretty sure by this time he could tell the level of mommy’s annoyance was through the roof.

Then her husband said ‘Here you go, have a cupcake kid’ and they lean in closer to him, cupcake in hand.

(Seriously! Are you freaking kidding me??? I just told you that thing will kill my son and you’re still trying to feed it to him? Whoa!)

Mitch stuck his arm out (as to say stop) and screams ‘Nooooooooooo!’ as loud as he could at the couple. (This is one of those times I love my son’s no holds barred attitude and determination to do and say what’s on his mind.)

Finally her son, daughter, friends, and everyone else at the table jumped in (in not so nice terms) and told them to back off. I couldn’t believe how hard this couple was pushing to get our son to eat this cupcake even though we told them it could kill him.

So I ask everyone, if you want to give a child food please ask the parents first. If the parents aren’t there, then restrain yourself and please don’t feed the children. You might kill a child with food allergies.

Have you had a similar situation with your child with food allergies? How did you handle the situation?

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  1. says

    OMG !!! That lady would have gotten a real earful from me. That is SO rude, first of all, allergies or not, you ask the parent first, not just shove the treat in the kid’s face. I can’t believe their persistence, people are just clueless.

  2. Rubna Nur says

    I can’t believe someone can keep pushing even after knowing the food will kill that child. Fortunately everyone around us knows about the almost impossible list of food allergies my 5 and 1 year old boys have. Kids are more polite in handling situations like this. Whenever we get together with my friend with 2 girls, they quietly ask making sure my boys don’t hear it to make sure they can safely share a treat they want before making the announcement “let’s have some popsicle”.


  1. […] of you read about what recently happened at our old children’s school crab feed, and like us, many of you were appalled at how persistent and pushy the offending woman was. But […]

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